Complainy Complainerson.

I'm in a foul mood. Well, not exactly, but I've felt really whiny all day. So I will use this blog as an outlet for my complaints, because I feel like complaining out loud, but Brett is asleep, and when I complain to my cats I kind of feel like they're not really "getting" me.

1) FM radio really sucks balls. I'm trying to get up earlier and earlier each day this week, which means setting an alarm. Since my phone's been dead since like...sometime last week, this morning I used our clock radio to wake up. But I was still sleepy when it went off, so I laid there for about 20 minutes just listening to 107.7 (The End).

It was 10am, so I didn't have to deal with any of that talk radio bullshit (God, why do people like morning talk radio??? What a load of garbage.), but there were sooo many commercials. And the DJ called one of the songs "new," and I was already sick of it last spring. Because it takes FM radio like, forever to get permission to play stuff. Or whatever it is...I don't know why it takes them so long. Plus it's just a lot of the same shit over and over again. AND it's usually censored, which is stupid. And the sound quality was terrible. When I finally got up, I was glad to be done listening to it.

2) WHY am I trying to get up earlier and earlier each morning? Because I usually wake up slooowly, sometime between 10a-12p, drink some water, maybe check my email, putter around, eat some "breakfast," and then do random chores in the afternoon, while still wearing some form of clothing only fit for wearing in the house or backyard. I know I'm gross - I'm just being honest.

But on FRIDAY, I have to get up at like, 5 am. And go to work with Brettles. BUT!!!11 I'm not actually allowed to go IN with him, since I don't have "security clearance." Here's the deal:

We're going to Portland on Friday, and we havehavehave to be there in time for dinner. Brett is working at his normal job in Mountlake Terr in the morning, and then in the afternoon he's going to Redmundo to teach some sort of efficiency workshop thingy at Microshaft, which will hopefully end around 3 pm. The problem is, traffic is terrrible on Fridays. And Portland is about three hours south of Seattle. So if Brett were to drive from Microsoft alllll the way back up to Marysville and THEN we left for P'town, we'd be lucky to get there by 8pm. Which would be pushing it, IMO. Since we're having dinner with my family, and my mom made a point of asking me to be there "by dinner time."

So what are we doing instead? Well, since we have only one car, and Brett can't carpool with anyone since he's kind of going all over the place, I am getting up at 5 friggin am, showering, finishing any last minute packing, drying my hair, feeding the cats, locking up the house, loading up the car, and going to work WITH him, so we can leave straight from Redmond together. IN. SANE.

I flat iron my hair, which I am NOT going to take the time to do before we leave, so my plan is to drop him off at the office by 8 am, and then drive to Alderwood Mall (because they have the sickest public bathrooms I've ever seen; they're almost country club nice), wait for them to open, and do my hrrr and makeup thrrr. Then I'll drive back to Premera, pick up B, we'll have lunch at Whole Foods (where I'll hopefully pick up some tasty df snacks for our stay in Pdx), I'll drop him off at Microslut, and I'll head down to Crossroads Mall to search for some cheap new clothes. Because I've lost...let's just say "a few" dress sizes in the last year, and all my clothes look weird on me now.

Then once B is done at MS, we'll take 405S to I-5 and go straight to Portland, so we probably won't have any problem getting there by 6 or 7 pm. I'm super comfortable hanging out at malls by myself so that part sounds fun, but every time I think about getting up at 5 am, something inside of me vomits. But I'm really excited to see my family for the weekend (especially my baby bruder ♥Joe♥, who is fuh-inally visiting from NY), so it'll be worth it.

3) Ugh. This post is way too long, so all my other complaints will be in one paragraph. I was going to complain about: how I just realized tonight that we're going to be gone all weekend and I have a ton of shit to get done around here; how Brett saw this month's Nylon cover and asked why the girls all looked like whores, and when I said that they don't look any more like whores today than the old 90210 girls looked like whores in the 90's, his disbelief made me feel vicariously old and crotchety; and how I'm HORRIBLY broken out right now and have just been feeling crappy and gross in general. Which may mean I'm pregnant, but could just mean that I happen to be a little under the weather for some reason. So who knows. I know *I* won't know for at least a few weeks, and YOU will know when I want you to know. So don't ask. But I'm probably not. We've been "trying" since May, and every month I think I'm pregnant, and every month I'm not. So I probably just had a bad reaction to hot tub water or something. But GOD I feel ugly. My skin is so gross that it's actually physically uncomfortable. It looks like my pores have done some sort of freaky friday with the pores of a 14 year old boy. :/

And if you've actually read this far, I love you. :)