Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew.

OMG. I am still shaking. I am so grossed out. Okay, so recently B and I have been trying to ween ourselves off of summer fruits, and get ready for fall. Only, I'm not a big fan of fall fruit, but whatevs. That's not what this story is about. So B has gotten grapes for himself for a few weeks in a row now, but I haven't eaten them because the skin on grapes kind of gives me the willies. So he just ended up eating both bags of grapes himself, straight from the bag (after rinsing them, obviously). BOTH times he got to the middle of the bag, and found, in the middle of the grapes, a hideous pile of liquefied rot. The kind of rotten where you're so grossed out that had you KNOWN about it, you would've just thrown the whole thing away.

This week, I decided that I'D get grapes (they were on sale), and I'd separate them out into tiny bunches for snacks after I washed them, so that I'd know about any possible rot. Instead, I just threw them into the produce drawer and forgot about them.

That was only just on Sunday though. This story is not about rot. But this afternoon I opened the fridge to see my grapes out on a regular shelf, because Brett must've seen them ignored in the produce drawer and figured I forgot about them (he figured right). So since I'm sick, I thought, "Oh, I should eat those grapes. THEY'LL help me feel better!"

So poor, sick, hungry little me pulled those grapes out of the fridge, walked over to the sink to wash them, and when I opened the bag, what did I see? WHAT DID I SEE???

CATERPILLAR TENTING. I didn't see any caterpillars, but it LOOKS like the grape people must've cleaned the tenting off of the OUTSIDE of the grapes, but missed the stuff in the middle. I could've screamed. I could've barfed. I. Could. Have. DIED.

In case you've forgotten (or never knew in the first place), I have a horrible phobia of tent caterpillars. I go bat-shit crazy if I see even one. It's like a full-on, primal, head-to-toe panic attack. Once, B and I went to the library during a particularly bad tent caterpillar season, and we didn't notice until we were halfway across the parking lot that all of the trees in the lot and in front of the library were FILLED w/ tent caterpillars. I noticed first, and I froze, and Brett noticed that I wasn't moving, but I was so terrified that I couldn't even speak to tell him what was wrong. Finally HE realized what was wrong, and he dragged (drug?) me back to the car. Once inside the safety of the car, I was able to breathe, cry, and try to brush the willies off of my skin, but it took awhile for me to feel normal again. HORRIBLE.

At least with the grapes I didn't see any actual caterpillars (ugh; I just got the shivers), but I still threw them into the fridge and slammed the door. Brett can eat them if he wants. If it were spider webbing or something, I'd totally just rinse them off and eat them. But I just...can't do that. Not with caterpillars. OMG. Sooo gross.