Holy rocket fuel, Batman!

Once I finally choke down the last of tonight's curry, my hope is that I'll have created my own built-in jet-pack. So strong will be the force of my ass flames. I wonder if I could get all the way to Brett's mom's house tomorrow on ass power alone. Hmmm...and if THAT works, maybe I'll test out carrying Brett with me when we go to Portland next month. And if I could eat enough curry to fly us to Phoenix in October, we wouldn't have to pay for plane tickets, which would be sweeeeet. But I'll need to remember to wear a skirt. Because pants + curry jet pack ass = fashion disaster. :/

It's not that it's BAD curry; it's actually really, really good. Brett made it, and he has mad curry skillz. He was just a little..."heavy handed" with the spicy bits this time. And by "a little," I mean my lips burn so badly that I can't comfortably press them together. And I haven't taken a bite in about five minutes. I'd say it's about six stars, on a scale of one to five. But it's good though. Hellsa good.

Oh God...my esophagus burns. Jesus. But it's such a good burn. Like a shot of tequila when you just really need a shot of tequila. If you know what I mean. Besides, my step dad told me that in the love family they used chilis to get rid of intestinal parasites. So if I have any parasites today, I bet I won't tomorrow!!! :D

Speaking of "the family," we found someone to do our yard work for us. Guess who? Guess whoooo??? My brother All's friend Smooth. Out of all the virtue names I've ever heard, Smooth's is the best by faaar. It's really "Smoothness," but I guess he just goes by Smooth. Like Sharing goes by Share. Fuckin' awesome.

I was never in the family, so I never got a virtue name. Every once in awhile someone asks me what I think my virtue name would've been, and I usually say something like "Creativity" or "Wisdom." But after hearing Smooth's name, I've decided that my virtue name will be Dope Ass Mother Fucker. Damf, for short. Not really a "virtue," but neither is "All" and everybody still loves him.

Maybe I'll make Damf my new nickname. When we were at the coast last week, Sam got pepper sprayed (he didn't do anything wrong, it's a long story), so I nicknamed him Pepper Spray. Which then rapidly became Pepper, Sgt Pepper, and then (after Maria decided that "Sgt Pepper" gave him too much authority and not enough emasculation), Brett came up with Paprika. So Sam's new forevs nickname is Paprika.

Then Brett kept correcting people, and he was dubbed Inspector Corrector. Somehow Sarah became Ceviche Sarah, but I forget why. I wanted a nickname too, and tried really hard to get people to call me Awesome Opossum, but they weren't havin' it. Maybe Damf, though. Call me Damf!!! :D Or Cat. Cat is fine, too. And I guess some people call me Kitty, and that's okay too. Just not anything that sucks.

Aaanyway, so Smooth is coming over tomorrow and the next day with a buddy to work on our yarrrd. I doubt it will look beautiful when they're done, but I'm sure it will look markedly better. Which will be nice. I hate being home while people are doing work here, so while they do their thang I'm gonna go to Brett's parents' house to hang out with his mom, Alison, and little ♥Esmond♥. I'll try to take a bunch of photos. I also have some photos from Seaside that I should upload soon. Hmmm. Maybe I'll work on that now...